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[Sunday 27th Jan @ 9:46pm] |
An important list of things I am frightened of in case I should die unexpectantly and the police and authorities need to carry out research as to why I died. by Arthur Edward Mumby;
-China dolls.
-Giant man eating spiders.
-Medium sized man eating spiders.
-Giant Oreos that could evidently crush me and I will never get the chance to eat them as long as I live.
-My sister, Myrtle.
-My mother. She is a million year old being who could at any time have the ability to turn into a giant worm with large teeth. You just never know. They say that most accidents happen in the home.
-Jack Havock and his relationship with my sister. It's absolutely positively disgusting and it offends me. Because I have to watch them kiss. This could lead to a heart-attack or some other dreadful inoperable disease.
-Jack Havock. He's awfully fierce looking.
-Those tin square things with fat wheels that you people call "cars". I keep nearly getting flattened by the things.
-Telly foams.
-Mind controlling moobs. And my god, I used the search engine "Google" despite other people's irrational phobias of it for the word "moob" and I was thoroughly scarred for life. I am completely serious.
-Any creature from Mars.
-The giant moths that poison you, stick you in jars and feed you to their young.
-The Royal British Space Navy.
-Being fourteen years old. Since when did I start to find girls to be.. pretty?
-People trapped in tell-me-visions. I'm not scared of them but I'm scared of what may happen to them!
-THE PIXIES IN THE CELLAMAFOAMS!
-BAD LANGUAGE FROM YOUNG MEN MY AGE
-Warlocks
Possibly more to follow.
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[Thursday 3rd Jan @ 11:52pm] |
He stood up, and pointed towards the canal shore. We were passing a place where one of the ancient Martian ruins stood, an old temple of translucent porcelain, cracked and decayed yet still very pretty. "Look upon my works, ye mighty, and despair!" he exclaimed, quoting Mr Shelley.
Page 255 - An extract from Myrtle Mumby's diary.
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